I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
