hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize