Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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