I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
