I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
