Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
