2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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