Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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