i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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