you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
