i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
