Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
