Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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