There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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