I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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