You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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