in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
