In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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