at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
