he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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