Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
