Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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