My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
