Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
