Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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