I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
