i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
