There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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