I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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