I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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