i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
