Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
