Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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