all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
