I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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