Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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