it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
