Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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