He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
