Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
