I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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