with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
