I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He felt like a one man threesome
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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