he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
