So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
