i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
