I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
