my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
17 year olds will be the death of me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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