There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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