if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm getting married
To pizza
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
