i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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