You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
