What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Porn is love you can see.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
