Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall