when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line