You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.