Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies