He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
