it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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