Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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