He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize