So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
