If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
