You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
