At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
