you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize