You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
